Friday, September 23, 2011

The Challenge

No outfit shots today, honestly I think I've only gotten out of sweatpants twice this week.  I haven't really had the motivation to write, or really to do anything, and I think it's because I've gotten off track.  I got caught up in the clothes, the outfits that I put together.  My mind would race through the contents of my closet every night in bed as I planned out what I would wear the next day.  I had moved away from my center, and God decided to remind me recently of what's important.  In church, we're in the middle of Colossians, and it's been challenging.  I'll leave you with the verses that have impacted me most so far (and suprise! they mention clothes!):

(from Chapter 3) 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
 16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

Thursday, September 15, 2011


I have had a very busy weekend.  I do realize it's Thursday, and the weekend hasn't started yet, so let's assume I'm talking about this last weekend, carrying over into the past couple of days.  They have been exhausting!  There have been hospital visits and prayers, and the startling realization that there's no guarantee that the people you love will be there tomorrow.  They might be on their way to a full recovery, but life on this earth is not a guarantee, and it's temporary.  That's a very important thought to remember and act upon.  Carpe Diem!  Seize the Day!

As true as the above statements are, sometimes I find it hard to live them out.  I keep seeing a print on Pinterest that reads "Let your faith be bigger than your fear."  That is a huge concept to wrap my mind around.  I've gotten into a routine in my life where I've allowed my insecurities to dictate how I live.  They seep into obvious areas, such as how I dress myself, and slightly less obvious ones, like how I interact with other people.  It feels like there's this little tangled ball of scared all wrapped up in a skin named Grace.  I had the momentary realization this week in church that if I really were willing to surrender all of that to God, I'd have no idea how to live my life.  All the coping mechanisms that I've learned and established over the past 26 years would be done away with, and I would have to rely on God for everything.  It was a terrifying idea, and it was a big enough moment that I had to make a dramatic exit (at least it seemed dramatic in my head) from the sanctuary to go compose myself in the bathroom before I became a gigantic soggy mess in public.

The fact of the matter is, I have nothing to be afraid of.  "God is love," and "perfect love casts out all fear."  If I were really willing to surrender to God, the fear would be gone, and I'd be free to really live for Him.  My life would be better.  It would probably be harder as well, but still better.  I want to look in a mirror and see myself the way that God does.  I want to hold a conversation with another human that doesn't leave me doubting almost every word I say.  I want to give up what my dad calls, "a morbid sense of self."

I want to live like Christ is the center of my world, and not just say I believe in the concept.  I want to WANT to give it all up for Him.  I'm incapable of it on my own, and I need Him to make me willing.  I just hope it happens soon!

Outfit Details:
Shirt: Wal-Mart, $4
Dress: Wet Seal, $8 (old)
Leggings: Wal-Mart, $5 (old)
Belt: my mom's closet 
Boots: NYC Style, $15
Earrings: $1 Jewelry Galore

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Nada, zilch, nothing.

I don't really have any thoughts mulling around in my head today that need to be shared. There's actually not much of anything going on up there right now.  So, instead, I'll leave you with two facts.

One: my kid is AWESOME!  Case in point:

Two: I am a (fashion) hypocrite.  I have been a member of the "leggings are not pants" camp for as long as I can remember.  I still hold to that credo, despite the photos showing otherwise.  I also didn't like skinny jeans when they first became popular (*gasp!*).  I now practically live in my skinnies.  Needless to say, I'm not a big fan of change, in almost every area of life, but especially when it comes to dressing myself.  I promise I'll work in that.

Outfit Details:
Top: DIY, tutorial here
Tank: Target Maternity, $10
Leggings: Wal-Mart, $7
Belt: Candie's, Plato's Closet resale, $4
Bracelet: gifted, from Columbia

Friday, September 2, 2011

Genuine Love

My best friend and I used to go out. A lot. Almost every night posed a new adventure, with new things to experience and new people to meet. We made it a point not to take anything too seriously, and viewed almost everyone as a potential friend. We would generally find a new circle of people to start hanging out with, maybe a new boyfriend for one or both of us, and settle in with a new group of friends. The only problem was, with new friends came new drama. We would invariably get fed up with someone or some event, drop all contact with these people, and decide that we were going to start saving up our money and move to Colorado. Then, we'd go out, end up making new friends, and start the cycle over. To be honest, some of these people are still in our lives, but for the most part, we didn't foster many lasting friendships, except with each other. Throughout all of it, the recurring complaint she and I used to have was "why we can't find any genuine people" to keep in our lives. The drama, backbiting, and two-faced nature of relative strangers wore us out, and we just wanted people in our lives who were "real."

Since that stage in our life, we have both had some changes in our lives. We've both had babies, and have started new endeavors. The biggest part of my new life has been my relationship with God, and re-learning what it means to be part of a church. I can honestly say, I have found a body of people who can be described as "genuine." God has been making it a point lately to show me His love in His people, and I keep being surprised. Whether it's a group of women shedding tears for me as I experience a loss, or a random text message to help cheer me up, I have never opened myself up to receive this much love. It's beyond amazing.

Outfit Details: 
Dress: Plato's Closet resale, $10
Tank: Gap Outlet, $6 
Sweater: Wal-Mart, $7 (old) 
Shoes: Payless, $7 (old) 
Necklace: Icing by Claire's (old)