Genuine Love

My best friend and I used to go out. A lot. Almost every night posed a new adventure, with new things to experience and new people to meet. We made it a point not to take anything too seriously, and viewed almost everyone as a potential friend. We would generally find a new circle of people to start hanging out with, maybe a new boyfriend for one or both of us, and settle in with a new group of friends. The only problem was, with new friends came new drama. We would invariably get fed up with someone or some event, drop all contact with these people, and decide that we were going to start saving up our money and move to Colorado. Then, we'd go out, end up making new friends, and start the cycle over. To be honest, some of these people are still in our lives, but for the most part, we didn't foster many lasting friendships, except with each other. Throughout all of it, the recurring complaint she and I used to have was "why we can't find any genuine people" to keep in our lives. The drama, backbiting, and two-faced nature of relative strangers wore us out, and we just wanted people in our lives who were "real."

Since that stage in our life, we have both had some changes in our lives. We've both had babies, and have started new endeavors. The biggest part of my new life has been my relationship with God, and re-learning what it means to be part of a church. I can honestly say, I have found a body of people who can be described as "genuine." God has been making it a point lately to show me His love in His people, and I keep being surprised. Whether it's a group of women shedding tears for me as I experience a loss, or a random text message to help cheer me up, I have never opened myself up to receive this much love. It's beyond amazing.

Outfit Details: 
Dress: Plato's Closet resale, $10
Tank: Gap Outlet, $6 
Sweater: Wal-Mart, $7 (old) 
Shoes: Payless, $7 (old) 
Necklace: Icing by Claire's (old)

All you need is Love.....

....dooo be do be doooooo!

Can I rant for a second? What if I promise that it's a happy rant, not an angry annoying one? Oh, I can? Why, thank you! I love my husband. I mean, really over-the-top, head over heels, fireworks and smiles, love the man I married. Sure, we have our disagreements and angry moments and general annoyance at living in close quarters with another (totally different) human being, but in spite of all that, I still love Andrew. A lot. We are almost through our second year of marriage, and even though we still have a lot to learn about each other, I don't have any regrets about committing to spend my life with him. There's no nagging little voice in my head that wonders how long I'll be 'stuck' with him, and I'm so grateful for that.

I have been married once before. It didn't turn out so well. I don't want to bash my ex, so let me just say that he would make a great husband for someone who shared his beliefs and actually married him for the right reasons. That just wasn't me. I was at a point in my life where all I wanted to do was rebel against my upbringing and this "overbearing" God that my parents worshiped, and he was my way out. Now, he was still a somewhat religious man, so my parents (kind of) approved, and the only way that we would live together is if we married. So, I made the leap, and 10 months later filed for divorce.

Looking back, that first marriage was a mistake, but also an incredible learning experience. They say that hindsight is 20/20, and there's a reason that phrase is so cliche and overused. It's true. I just heard a great sermon a few weeks ago that explained that a lot of people approach marriage with a "what can this person do for me?" attitude, when the approach should be more along the lines of, "how can this person help me be more like Christ?" The first mindset was definitely true the first time I got married. I was insecure, rebellious, and firmly believed that this guy was the only person who would ever love the "unlovable" person that was me. Then, after being on my own and taking a few years to go a little crazy and be a serial dater (that's a fun story, but it'll have to wait.), God found me and showed me Love. Before I found another relationship, before I tried to find fulfillment in another fallible human being, God showed me that He was everything I was looking for. I was searching for romance, and I learned that "God is Love." It wasn't until after I had found everything I needed in Him, that He brought an amazing man into my life who would become my husband and the father of my child (as well as my unwilling photographer while I wait for my tripod to arrive!) I love this man!







And, finally, some outfit shots. I'm still working on the posing of these shots, so you may notice a few things:

a. I'm still stuck on the awkward smile in almost every picture.
b. OMG, is that girl floating? NO, sorry, her feet are just in an awkward position.
c. I really like the pockets on this skirt!





Outfit Details:
Shirt: Gap Outlet, $7 (one of my scores over the weekend!)
Undershirt: Abercrombie, $12 (super old!)
Skirt: Old Navy from Plato's Closet resale, $2
Necklace: Icing by Claire's, don't remember
Belt: No freakin' idea!
Shoes: Wal-mart, $10 (old)

Yesterday...

I think I managed to go through the six stages of grief over the span two days (but, you say, I thought there was only five stages? Well, my friends, my version has been edited to include the "contemplating the abandonment of a new blog project" stage. I can say, I'm past that one.) The husband was there to hold me as I cried and mourned and wrestled with my unfounded anger at God. I'm still looking for the good in the situation, but I also realize that only God knows the big picture, and sometimes you don't find out until later what purpose loss can serve.

I also decided to continue with my postings, and to keep the name. I hope there can be another "button" added to our family in the future, and until then, I'll continue loving the little girl we've already been blessed with. And, I'll continue to get dressed most days (unlike today, which was spent in sweatpants) and taking pictures for all to enjoy. ;)

Yesterday was started with a shower, to get ready for going to a Stonecroft Ministries luncheon with my mom. This luncheon cracks me up, simply because there is no one under the age of 60 there, making me, obviously, the youngster. I've been attending these little monthly meetings at the invitation of my mom, who is the second youngest attendee. I had forgotten that they were having a "Red, White, and Blue" theme for the afternoon, and coincidentally showed up wearing pink, white, and blue, which shows that my psychic powers might need a little tweaking. I did wear my new red lip stain from New York Color (in Rock On Ruby), which is awesome, but is also a stain. Guess which finger I used to blot.





After that, we headed over to the in-law's to drop off the baby before heading to our church's small group Bible study. Lexi got to run around like a crazy person in their back yard, as the husband and I took some outfit shots.




*Aaaaaugh! Jelly sandals and nail polish on baby feet! Too much cute!*




*Check out the awesome "blogger knot" at the bottom of shirt. I don't know if that's actually what it's called, but I like the name. It makes me sound like a literary astronaut, or juggernaut, or any other -naut. (Mothernaut? I like it!)*

Outfit Details:
Shirt: Hanes Men's Undershirt, $11 for five
Jeans: J & Company from Plato's Closet, $4
Shoes: Charlotte Russe from Daisy Exchange, $6
Necklace and Earrings: One Dollar Jewelry Galore, $1 each

And finally, for your enjoyment, is a rousing game of "Find the Baby!"