Friday: I woke up that morning, and immediately shuffled my way to the bathroom to take my last pregnancy test and confirm what I thought was happening. The nifty little screen on my Clearblue test read, "Not Pregnant." I told Andrew, and we both got a little sad, but I had decided I was done crying over this, so I went about my day. Later on, I met with a few women from my church, including my big sister and mother-in-law, to eat some dessert and enjoy free childcare while we engaged in some grown-up conversation. It was an amazing time, and something I hope gets repeated in the future. In the course of conversation, I was asked what was "big" in my life lately. It was an ironic question, and I shared with these beautiful women what had happened. I had a miscarriage. I sat there and bawled, and told all of them I thought I was done grieving, and I wish I knew what God was doing, and allowed my facade of "being OK" to melt away. I cannot express, at least without starting to bawl again, how amazing these women are. I received hugs and prayer, and even more importantly, the insight that it was healthy to continue grieving my loss. A few even shared with me snippets of their own experiences, and overall, it was incredible to feel such a pouring out of love.
Saturday: I awoke at 6:30 to a fussy baby and groaned. My alarm wasn't supposed to go off until an hour later, and I needed all the extra sleep I could get. The night before, I had laid in bed, tossed and turned, and refused to cuddle with my hubby because it was "too hot and I can't sleep," until I finally drifted off about 1 AM. The reason for my insomnia? I knew I was going to have to get up early for a day of outlet mall shopping in Branson! My mother-in-law had set up a girl's day of shopping with myself, her two adopted daughters Lilly and Anna, and my sister-in-law Rachel. With the excitement still lodged in my mind, I pulled myself out of bed in the morning to warm up some milk for Lexi, in the hopes she would go back to sleep so I had time to get ready unencumbered. After she dropped off, I climbed back into bed for some cuddle time with hubby before my alarm went off and I actually HAD to get up. I got ready and said goodbye before heading out the door.
Once the two-hour drive, full of good conversation and the sound of two giggly girls from the back seat, was over, we hit the outlets, where I managed to score some major deals. I do have to give credit to my incredible extended family for the funding of my shopping, and I'm almost afraid to mention it since I might start bawling again. While we were eating lunch, my husband's great-grandmother (who we all call Granny) slipped me a few folded bills and told me she wanted me to "have fun today, since I understand what it's like to be just starting out in a marriage and not have anything extra." I slipped the bills into my wallet and gave her a heartfelt "thank you," before excusing myself to the bathroom to cry over her little act of generosity. Later on, my mother-in-law also handed me a gift card that had a remaining balance she wanted me to have, just in case I found something I really wanted for Lexi and myself. Suffice it to say, my shopping budget was a lot bigger than I expected it to be, and I definitely found some amazing deals to spend it on!
Sunday: In the morning was church, and I didn't want to go. Once again, I didn't want to roll out of bed, but I THOUGHT I was in the nursery that day. I probably wouldn't have complained if I had managed to fall asleep before 3 AM. Ah, the adrenaline high of having an incredible shopping day! Turns out, I wasn't in the nursery until next week, but I still got to hear an really good message and sing my heart out. That evening, Andrew, Lexi, and I attended a mini-concert/ichttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gife cream social at my parents' church to hear George Miladin play piano. I never get tired of hearing his arrangements of songs, even though I had the privilege of attending as a child the church he pastored in San Diego. I visited with my parents and some other people I hadn't seen in a while before heading home to collapse after those busy couple of days.
Overall, I came to a very obvious conclusion: I love my family so very much, and am so blessed to live in the same region of the country as almost all of them! Not only that, but I've found an amazing church family as well, and I cannot stop thanking God for that. My only regret from this weekend is that I didn't take any outfit shots, but I will include a couple pictures of my nails. I made an attempt to mix a 'neon and neutral' color palette to try the trend, and I like how they turned out! (Please pay no attention to my teenie-tiny pinky!)
Nail Polish:
NYC 'Nail Glossies' in #233
A Perfect "10" in #376
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